And don't forget to send me a photo of you and your new alien for the site. Thanks.
ADOPTED!!!
CANDY
(a poem)
Candy's hockey team hit a rut.
So she offered to, "cheer them up."
But it hurt her poor pride,
She was too short "to ride,"
Oh Candy, you are such a slut!
Adopted by a "true" hockey fan
Now residing in Vancouver, WA
CANDY
(a poem)
Candy's hockey team hit a rut.
So she offered to, "cheer them up."
But it hurt her poor pride,
She was too short "to ride,"
Oh Candy, you are such a slut!
Adopted by a "true" hockey fan
Now residing in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
SWISH & JO-JO
These are two well-known alien athletes on their home planets, but they're also making names for themselves here on Earth. Swish is the current record holder for longest mouthwash swish at his dentist's office, and Jo-Jo is the french-fry eating champion in 5 galaxies. Yes, fries are universal, although Jo-Jo doesn't like ketchup - he prefers caramel.
adopted by Jade,
Now residing in Eugene, OR
SWISH & JO-JO
These are two well-known alien athletes on their home planets, but they're also making names for themselves here on Earth. Swish is the current record holder for longest mouthwash swish at his dentist's office, and Jo-Jo is the french-fry eating champion in 5 galaxies. Yes, fries are universal, although Jo-Jo doesn't like ketchup - he prefers caramel.
adopted by Jade,
Now residing in Eugene, OR
ADOPTED!!!
THURMAN
Thurman is allergic to whipped cream. See how his lips are red and swollen? Anyway, we're sure the swelling will go away if he would just STOP drinking white chocolate mochas. We said, "order them without the whipped cream." But he said it ruins the experience. Fine - then suffer!
Adopted by Kimberly
Now residing in Buies Creek, NC
THURMAN
Thurman is allergic to whipped cream. See how his lips are red and swollen? Anyway, we're sure the swelling will go away if he would just STOP drinking white chocolate mochas. We said, "order them without the whipped cream." But he said it ruins the experience. Fine - then suffer!
Adopted by Kimberly
Now residing in Buies Creek, NC
JOPPA-PLANX
I've never seen anything like this alien. He's a complete freak. First of all, he believes the world IS flat. Now, keep in mind he arrived here from outer space, so he knows what the planet looks like from a distance! He's always arguing with us about how Einstein was a moron, and on weekends he goes to retirement homes and steals the carrots from the peas and carrots side dishes of old people. Who would do something like that!!??? One last thing, his breath REEKS because his favorite drink is milk mixed with mustard. We should've named him Hurl.
Adopted by Debbie
Now residing in Wilson, NC
I've never seen anything like this alien. He's a complete freak. First of all, he believes the world IS flat. Now, keep in mind he arrived here from outer space, so he knows what the planet looks like from a distance! He's always arguing with us about how Einstein was a moron, and on weekends he goes to retirement homes and steals the carrots from the peas and carrots side dishes of old people. Who would do something like that!!??? One last thing, his breath REEKS because his favorite drink is milk mixed with mustard. We should've named him Hurl.
Adopted by Debbie
Now residing in Wilson, NC
REYNALDO
Reynaldo is a kitty Cassanova. This "working boy" likes to contract out "playtime" to lonely housecats. It's said that his squeaky alien voice is pure catnip, and he doesn't even mind if you're not de-clawed He's a bit of a masochist that way. ME-OW!
Adopted by Blue and Shiasta,
Now living in King of Prussia, PA
Reynaldo is a kitty Cassanova. This "working boy" likes to contract out "playtime" to lonely housecats. It's said that his squeaky alien voice is pure catnip, and he doesn't even mind if you're not de-clawed He's a bit of a masochist that way. ME-OW!
Adopted by Blue and Shiasta,
Now living in King of Prussia, PA
WONTON
Wonton hails from the Orient.
Little Known Fact: Fortune cookies are actually an alien invention
He loves to write the fortunes, and is known for such classics as "he who knocks must have curtains" and "chopsticks will find what the heart eight but no chews"
Adopted by Luppette
Now residing in Purseville, PA
Wonton hails from the Orient.
Little Known Fact: Fortune cookies are actually an alien invention
He loves to write the fortunes, and is known for such classics as "he who knocks must have curtains" and "chopsticks will find what the heart eight but no chews"
Adopted by Luppette
Now residing in Purseville, PA
FLOO THE COOP
Floo is a young alien in the Stellar Scouts Association, where he's working to obtain his scout badges. Currently, he's earned ones for moon-walking, comet riding, and asteroid dodging. Next, he hopes to get his "manly-man" badge, where he will have to pass the 10 survival tests for Earthbound aliens. Good Luck Floo!
Adopted by Jon-Anna,
Now residing in Philadelphia, PA
Floo is a young alien in the Stellar Scouts Association, where he's working to obtain his scout badges. Currently, he's earned ones for moon-walking, comet riding, and asteroid dodging. Next, he hopes to get his "manly-man" badge, where he will have to pass the 10 survival tests for Earthbound aliens. Good Luck Floo!
Adopted by Jon-Anna,
Now residing in Philadelphia, PA
DOODAD
My grandfather found Doodad years ago and took him home to live in his workshop. Doodad was always helpful and liked to build birdhouses and tree-houses and forts for me to play in. Now I am older and don't need forts or tree-houses. But if you know someone who does, then this little Doodad can help.
Adopted by Dolores,
Now residing in Wilson, NC
My grandfather found Doodad years ago and took him home to live in his workshop. Doodad was always helpful and liked to build birdhouses and tree-houses and forts for me to play in. Now I am older and don't need forts or tree-houses. But if you know someone who does, then this little Doodad can help.
Adopted by Dolores,
Now residing in Wilson, NC
YUM YUM
Yum Yum is small, but she loves to eat. What's interesting is that she equally loves candy AND vegetables. Her favorites include...green gummy bears, parsnips, any candy that's blue, and lima beans.
Adopted by Lauren, Now residing in Winterville, NC
Yum Yum is small, but she loves to eat. What's interesting is that she equally loves candy AND vegetables. Her favorites include...green gummy bears, parsnips, any candy that's blue, and lima beans.
Adopted by Lauren, Now residing in Winterville, NC
AH & CHEWIE
Brother and Sister team Ah & Chewee love Dogs! Ah is named for the sound she makes every time she sees any dog. Chewee just loves to chew on dog toys - even used ones. YUCK!
Adopted by Wanda,
Now residing in Seven Pines, NC
Brother and Sister team Ah & Chewee love Dogs! Ah is named for the sound she makes every time she sees any dog. Chewee just loves to chew on dog toys - even used ones. YUCK!
Adopted by Wanda,
Now residing in Seven Pines, NC
DELIA & MOLL
Delia and Moll have found a way to clone belly lint. Don't ask me why. They're still going on about "navel rights" and the abomination that is a naked belly button. So far, no one is interested in funding their cause. They're still hoping to pitch to Mark Cuban or Trump.
Adopted by Lory,
Now residing in Greensboro, NC
Delia and Moll have found a way to clone belly lint. Don't ask me why. They're still going on about "navel rights" and the abomination that is a naked belly button. So far, no one is interested in funding their cause. They're still hoping to pitch to Mark Cuban or Trump.
Adopted by Lory,
Now residing in Greensboro, NC
BOB & BRZKNDLOX
(bob is the one on the right)
These twins (not identical) are our newest arrivals. Bob is adapting to life on Earth quite well and has mastered "eye" contact. Brzkndlox is still having a few ups and downs, having made the mistake of trying to mate with a miniature stapler in the shape of a cat.
Please note - We will not adopt them to a home with cats. See note above for details.
Adopted by Joy
Now residing in Greensboro, NC
(bob is the one on the right)
These twins (not identical) are our newest arrivals. Bob is adapting to life on Earth quite well and has mastered "eye" contact. Brzkndlox is still having a few ups and downs, having made the mistake of trying to mate with a miniature stapler in the shape of a cat.
Please note - We will not adopt them to a home with cats. See note above for details.
Adopted by Joy
Now residing in Greensboro, NC
BLINX
Blinx blinks so fast and so often, you can't even see it. SEE!!! He did it just then. Did you see it? Yep, he's that fast.
Adopted by Roxie,
Now living in Wilson, NC
Blinx blinks so fast and so often, you can't even see it. SEE!!! He did it just then. Did you see it? Yep, he's that fast.
Adopted by Roxie,
Now living in Wilson, NC
DIZZY
Believe it or not, this alien's real name isn't Dizzy - it's Thunkmayer. He changed it to Dizzy as a tribute to his favorite trumpet player. He hopes one day to follow in his footsteps. And just look at that mouth and those little puffy cheeks - I just know he'll be a hit!
Adopted by Jan
Now lives in Elm City, NC
Believe it or not, this alien's real name isn't Dizzy - it's Thunkmayer. He changed it to Dizzy as a tribute to his favorite trumpet player. He hopes one day to follow in his footsteps. And just look at that mouth and those little puffy cheeks - I just know he'll be a hit!
Adopted by Jan
Now lives in Elm City, NC
ALBEE
This is Albee. He's a big fan of the Tom and Jerry Cartoons. When we asked him what name he wanted he said "I'll be a mouse's uncle." The only mouse's uncle that we knew of was Uncle Pecos (who is this little guy's favorite musician.) Since he couldn't be Pecos, he decided to be Albee (I'll Be).
Adopted by Lauren,
Lives in Greenville, NC
This is Albee. He's a big fan of the Tom and Jerry Cartoons. When we asked him what name he wanted he said "I'll be a mouse's uncle." The only mouse's uncle that we knew of was Uncle Pecos (who is this little guy's favorite musician.) Since he couldn't be Pecos, he decided to be Albee (I'll Be).
Adopted by Lauren,
Lives in Greenville, NC
GRIGGINS
Griggins is really fantastic,
A complexion so smooth it looks plastic.
But alas, his cute ass, is mad solely of glass,
So don't drop him, cause he's not elastic!
Adopted by Angie,
Now residing in Tarboro, NC
Griggins is really fantastic,
A complexion so smooth it looks plastic.
But alas, his cute ass, is mad solely of glass,
So don't drop him, cause he's not elastic!
Adopted by Angie,
Now residing in Tarboro, NC
CRYSTAL DAWN
She hasn't adapted very well to life on Earth. Her first tv experience was to see an episode of Hee-Haw. She's been looking for Kornfield county ever since, hoping to get a date with Goober and find a joke bad enough to get her spanked by the picket fence.
Adopted by Araya
Now residing in Palm Springs, CA
She'll never find Goober there!
She hasn't adapted very well to life on Earth. Her first tv experience was to see an episode of Hee-Haw. She's been looking for Kornfield county ever since, hoping to get a date with Goober and find a joke bad enough to get her spanked by the picket fence.
Adopted by Araya
Now residing in Palm Springs, CA
She'll never find Goober there!
HOB HAS BEEN ADOPTED!!!!!
Meet Hob. It's best that he not "mingle with children." He has Tourette's Syndrome - the cursing kind. He was fired from his job at the daycare center, and cannot get accommodations for his disability since he's an "alien." However, he's found that he's a real hit at hockey games.
Adopted by Debbie,
Now living in Milwaukee, OR
Meet Hob. It's best that he not "mingle with children." He has Tourette's Syndrome - the cursing kind. He was fired from his job at the daycare center, and cannot get accommodations for his disability since he's an "alien." However, he's found that he's a real hit at hockey games.
Adopted by Debbie,
Now living in Milwaukee, OR
BEEBEE
Actually, his name is Beebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeenzeegloop. But we decided to shorten is because that name is never going to it on a driver's license. Although, now that I think about it, his feet can't reach the pedals anyway.
Adopted by Dale,
Now residing in Portland, OR
BYE BYE BEE BEE!
Actually, his name is Beebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeenzeegloop. But we decided to shorten is because that name is never going to it on a driver's license. Although, now that I think about it, his feet can't reach the pedals anyway.
Adopted by Dale,
Now residing in Portland, OR
BYE BYE BEE BEE!
BOLI
Boli is actually short for Stromboli. He has an odd way of eating them. He's small, so when they come out of the oven, he dives in and eats them from the inside-out!
Adopted by Norah,
Now residing in Vancouver, WA
Boli is actually short for Stromboli. He has an odd way of eating them. He's small, so when they come out of the oven, he dives in and eats them from the inside-out!
Adopted by Norah,
Now residing in Vancouver, WA
WUZZY WAS ADOPTED!!!!
Wuzzy had some trouble in the transporter when arriving here on Earth. As a result, the aliens began a checklist of all the things that may have gone wrong. You see, he's not supposed to be green. Then there were the other questions - Was he supposed to have a mouth like a fish? Was he supposed to have orange dots on his body? Was he always cross-eyed?
There were so many questions, the name just stuck.
Adopted at Camp Cactus by an anonymous patron.
Thanks Anonymous Person
Wuzzy's whereabouts are unknown
Wuzzy had some trouble in the transporter when arriving here on Earth. As a result, the aliens began a checklist of all the things that may have gone wrong. You see, he's not supposed to be green. Then there were the other questions - Was he supposed to have a mouth like a fish? Was he supposed to have orange dots on his body? Was he always cross-eyed?
There were so many questions, the name just stuck.
Adopted at Camp Cactus by an anonymous patron.
Thanks Anonymous Person
Wuzzy's whereabouts are unknown
SURF
Surf likes to ski. Just add some snow and watch him go!
Adopted by Innan Moon.
Now residing (and skiing) in Welches, OR
Surf likes to ski. Just add some snow and watch him go!
Adopted by Innan Moon.
Now residing (and skiing) in Welches, OR
PORKCHOP
Porkchop guarantees that if you hang him around your neck, then ALL dogs will like you. Actually, now that I think about it, cats may like you too, and maybe wolves, and tigers, and my Uncle Tim ( he loves pork shops). In fact, I think you would be liked by almost all Southerners. So, if you're planning a trip to the Deep South - I highly recommend taking a Porkchop with you!
adopted by Amanda
Now residing in Gresham, OR
Porkchop guarantees that if you hang him around your neck, then ALL dogs will like you. Actually, now that I think about it, cats may like you too, and maybe wolves, and tigers, and my Uncle Tim ( he loves pork shops). In fact, I think you would be liked by almost all Southerners. So, if you're planning a trip to the Deep South - I highly recommend taking a Porkchop with you!
adopted by Amanda
Now residing in Gresham, OR
FRIGGINSTANKLE
He chose to name himself after his favorite cheese. When we told him no such cheese exists, he noted that "as mere Earthlings" we have no idea what we're talking about, and that he's savored flavors in over 30 galaxies. What a food snob. So fine! Call yourself Frigginstankle. Good luck finding your soulmate on match.com with THAT name.
adopted for Arne
Now residing in Enschede, Netherlands
He chose to name himself after his favorite cheese. When we told him no such cheese exists, he noted that "as mere Earthlings" we have no idea what we're talking about, and that he's savored flavors in over 30 galaxies. What a food snob. So fine! Call yourself Frigginstankle. Good luck finding your soulmate on match.com with THAT name.
adopted for Arne
Now residing in Enschede, Netherlands
LIVVY
Liv is recovering from a Barbie play-date that went awry. When the girl's mother called me, I could hear Liv in the background screaming "Skipper is a skank!"
I'm happy to have you adopt her, but please, no more Barbie play-dates.
Adopted by Cloei
Now lives in MillA, WA
Liv is recovering from a Barbie play-date that went awry. When the girl's mother called me, I could hear Liv in the background screaming "Skipper is a skank!"
I'm happy to have you adopt her, but please, no more Barbie play-dates.
Adopted by Cloei
Now lives in MillA, WA
P. DANGER J.
Danger is his middle name. So does it really matter what the other letters stand for? I didn't think so.
Adopted by Gayle (your rebel, you)
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Danger is his middle name. So does it really matter what the other letters stand for? I didn't think so.
Adopted by Gayle (your rebel, you)
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
EGGAR
Eggar has a big brain, as evidenced by his big head. Despite his large brain, he's probably not as smart as his fellow aliens. They've all found homes with movie stars, or jobs with the government, or a way off this planet - whereas Eggar has only been able to find work in Madrid as an art model for those studying Picasso. See the resemblances in form and color?
Adopted by Alana
Now residing in Vancouver, WA
Eggar has a big brain, as evidenced by his big head. Despite his large brain, he's probably not as smart as his fellow aliens. They've all found homes with movie stars, or jobs with the government, or a way off this planet - whereas Eggar has only been able to find work in Madrid as an art model for those studying Picasso. See the resemblances in form and color?
Adopted by Alana
Now residing in Vancouver, WA
BUBBLES & PAINT
These are our Newlyweds, Bubbles and Paint Jones. Not much is known about them, because they've just arrived on Earth for an extended honeymoon. What we can tell you is Paint likes to blow Bubbles, and Bubbles likes to fingerPaint. They'll likely keep to themselves and not be a bother.
Adopted for Maria
Now honeymooning in Reading, PA
These are our Newlyweds, Bubbles and Paint Jones. Not much is known about them, because they've just arrived on Earth for an extended honeymoon. What we can tell you is Paint likes to blow Bubbles, and Bubbles likes to fingerPaint. They'll likely keep to themselves and not be a bother.
Adopted for Maria
Now honeymooning in Reading, PA
ANGEL
This is one alien that really lives up to her name. She's SO SWEET that her breath smells like strawberries. She's always willing to help - cleaning the house, walking the dogs, or even brushing the cat's teeth. She knows lots of secret things too, like where to find stars that grant wishes and how to fly just like a hummingbird. I hear she's even friends with the Tooth Fairy.
Adopted by Anna
Now living in Vancouver, WA
This is one alien that really lives up to her name. She's SO SWEET that her breath smells like strawberries. She's always willing to help - cleaning the house, walking the dogs, or even brushing the cat's teeth. She knows lots of secret things too, like where to find stars that grant wishes and how to fly just like a hummingbird. I hear she's even friends with the Tooth Fairy.
Adopted by Anna
Now living in Vancouver, WA
LULU
Lulu says she wants to be a ballerina when she grows up. But she refuses to take ballet lessons! I think that she just wants to wear a tutu. So, if you adopt her, please buy her a tutu. Thanks.
Adopted by Kailey
Now residing in Portland, OR
Lulu says she wants to be a ballerina when she grows up. But she refuses to take ballet lessons! I think that she just wants to wear a tutu. So, if you adopt her, please buy her a tutu. Thanks.
Adopted by Kailey
Now residing in Portland, OR
SNEAK (aka SPEED)
We call this little guy Sneak, but he prefers to be called Speed. This little Speed/Sneak has a secret. At night when everyone is asleep, he likes to hop on toy cars and ride like the wind! One special thing though - he'll only drive toy Corvettes. Hey, we all have our standards.
Adopted by Damian
Now living in Portland, OR
We call this little guy Sneak, but he prefers to be called Speed. This little Speed/Sneak has a secret. At night when everyone is asleep, he likes to hop on toy cars and ride like the wind! One special thing though - he'll only drive toy Corvettes. Hey, we all have our standards.
Adopted by Damian
Now living in Portland, OR
GRADY
I know. He looks a bit worse for wear. Grady (an aspiring chef) was a recent contestant on a famous cooking show with a host that likes to yell at the participants The host even threw a soup spook, hitting Grady in the eye. (see the black eye?)
Don't worry, Grady called in a few intergalactic favors. The Alien Mafia says their "going to handle it" for free, since they love Grady's cheesecakes. Poor little cooking show host. I would not want to be him.
Adopted by Callie
Now residing, and cooking, in Butte, MT
I know. He looks a bit worse for wear. Grady (an aspiring chef) was a recent contestant on a famous cooking show with a host that likes to yell at the participants The host even threw a soup spook, hitting Grady in the eye. (see the black eye?)
Don't worry, Grady called in a few intergalactic favors. The Alien Mafia says their "going to handle it" for free, since they love Grady's cheesecakes. Poor little cooking show host. I would not want to be him.
Adopted by Callie
Now residing, and cooking, in Butte, MT
ADOPTED!!!
OLIVE
Olive has a dry sense of humor and a mouth on her that's a bit "salty." It's probably because she grew up in a bar in Soho. Interesting Fact: she likes to swim laps in martini glasses.
Adopted by Gail
Now residing in Reno, NV
Olive has a dry sense of humor and a mouth on her that's a bit "salty." It's probably because she grew up in a bar in Soho. Interesting Fact: she likes to swim laps in martini glasses.
Adopted by Gail
Now residing in Reno, NV
ADOPTED!!!
VLAD
This alien-turned-aspiring-actor has been turned down for a number of promising roles including: The Green Lantern, The Incredible Hulk, Swamp Thing, and most recently, an M&Ms commercial. He blames his agent Maury.
Adopted by Corrine
Now living in Portland, OR
This alien-turned-aspiring-actor has been turned down for a number of promising roles including: The Green Lantern, The Incredible Hulk, Swamp Thing, and most recently, an M&Ms commercial. He blames his agent Maury.
Adopted by Corrine
Now living in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
LEESAL
Leesal arrived here in the 1980's and just loved it here. To better fit in with humans, she decided to model her legs after leg-warmers (see the little red leg-warmers?) Notice that she also has 1 head-nub on 1 side of her head (like the side ponytails of the 80's.) Anyway, her heroes are Jane Fonda and Olivia Newton-John. You also need to know that she speaks Valley Girl, fluently, and is very quick to let you know when something is Grody, or if anything is Like Totally! For Sure! Right?
Adopted by Annika
Now residing in Portland, OR
Leesal arrived here in the 1980's and just loved it here. To better fit in with humans, she decided to model her legs after leg-warmers (see the little red leg-warmers?) Notice that she also has 1 head-nub on 1 side of her head (like the side ponytails of the 80's.) Anyway, her heroes are Jane Fonda and Olivia Newton-John. You also need to know that she speaks Valley Girl, fluently, and is very quick to let you know when something is Grody, or if anything is Like Totally! For Sure! Right?
Adopted by Annika
Now residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
NO NO NO !
This little alien is in a serious depression. Now, some would assume it's because he's stuck here on Earth, but that's not the reason he has that tortured face. It seems that relationship drama happens to aliens too. here's what happened....He incorrectly answered the question "Does this make me look fat?" So, his boyfriend slipped him a Roofie, and while he was out, dyed his mustache orange. It's broken his heart. He even changed his name because of this. e used to be named Carlos. (oh, you didn't think that was his mouth did you?)
Adopted by Shae
Now residing in Watertown, NY
This little alien is in a serious depression. Now, some would assume it's because he's stuck here on Earth, but that's not the reason he has that tortured face. It seems that relationship drama happens to aliens too. here's what happened....He incorrectly answered the question "Does this make me look fat?" So, his boyfriend slipped him a Roofie, and while he was out, dyed his mustache orange. It's broken his heart. He even changed his name because of this. e used to be named Carlos. (oh, you didn't think that was his mouth did you?)
Adopted by Shae
Now residing in Watertown, NY
ADOPTED!!!
MEATBALL
The Activist! Meatball is vegan. Really vegan. He's given up his given name until "we all realize the value of all animals." Until then, he says we're ALL just balls of meat.
adopted by Ray
Now living in Watertown, NY
The Activist! Meatball is vegan. Really vegan. He's given up his given name until "we all realize the value of all animals." Until then, he says we're ALL just balls of meat.
adopted by Ray
Now living in Watertown, NY
ADOPTED!!!
STINKY
Stinky steals socks! (Say that one five times, fast)
Anyway, we all have been taught that clothes dryers steal socks, right? FALSE! Stinky has been sneaking into our washers and stealing dirty socks. He uses them as alien air fresheners! Yuck!
Adopted by Summer
Now residing in Hillsboro, OR
Stinky steals socks! (Say that one five times, fast)
Anyway, we all have been taught that clothes dryers steal socks, right? FALSE! Stinky has been sneaking into our washers and stealing dirty socks. He uses them as alien air fresheners! Yuck!
Adopted by Summer
Now residing in Hillsboro, OR
ADOPTED!!!
CHUGG
Look at his mouth, you knew he was going to be named Chugg, or Sippy, or Deep Throat or something like that.
Ok, so this is Chugg. And he's a drinker! You've got the wrong idea- we're not talking keg stands and cheap beer. This guy prefers to chug other things....like....boiled hotdog water, Aqua Net hairspray, Banana Boat Suntan Oil, and the tears of the Gricxon Toad.
But he can do keg stands too. His burps are legendary throughout the galaxy. You'll want him on your fraternity's keg team.
Adopted by Sophie
Now residing in Vancouver, WA
Look at his mouth, you knew he was going to be named Chugg, or Sippy, or Deep Throat or something like that.
Ok, so this is Chugg. And he's a drinker! You've got the wrong idea- we're not talking keg stands and cheap beer. This guy prefers to chug other things....like....boiled hotdog water, Aqua Net hairspray, Banana Boat Suntan Oil, and the tears of the Gricxon Toad.
But he can do keg stands too. His burps are legendary throughout the galaxy. You'll want him on your fraternity's keg team.
Adopted by Sophie
Now residing in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
Original Story...
???? & ????
It doesn't matter what their names are. How can you look at those sad eyes and not adopt these two? How do you live with yourself? Shame on you. Shame!
I am happy to announce that these two aliens have been adopted by Anna, and she has given them wonderful names.
Meet - BINKY & WINKY
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Thanks Anna!
???? & ????
It doesn't matter what their names are. How can you look at those sad eyes and not adopt these two? How do you live with yourself? Shame on you. Shame!
I am happy to announce that these two aliens have been adopted by Anna, and she has given them wonderful names.
Meet - BINKY & WINKY
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Thanks Anna!
ADOPTED!!!
PROFESSOR XEEBLE
Professor Xeeble is the founder of STIFFIE (Society to Infiltrate Frustrating Feline Intimacy Enigmas)
Essentially, we've learned that many aliens have a "thing" for cats. Yes, aliens built the pyramids. Yes, aliens worshipped cats. No, cats did not return their affections. To figure our why, the professor felt a STIFFIE was needed.
Their motto - "We don't get it, but we'll keep pushing"
Adopted by Ella
and Continuing his work in Vancouver, WA
Professor Xeeble is the founder of STIFFIE (Society to Infiltrate Frustrating Feline Intimacy Enigmas)
Essentially, we've learned that many aliens have a "thing" for cats. Yes, aliens built the pyramids. Yes, aliens worshipped cats. No, cats did not return their affections. To figure our why, the professor felt a STIFFIE was needed.
Their motto - "We don't get it, but we'll keep pushing"
Adopted by Ella
and Continuing his work in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
QPID
Qpid writes greeting cards. She specializes in non-traditional topics like breakups, etc. Here's a sample of her latest work.
Your heart may be soft,
Your head numbs quite bony,
Curtains, Carpets - not matching,
Yes, you are a phony!
Adopted by Naomi
Now living in Everett, WA
Qpid writes greeting cards. She specializes in non-traditional topics like breakups, etc. Here's a sample of her latest work.
Your heart may be soft,
Your head numbs quite bony,
Curtains, Carpets - not matching,
Yes, you are a phony!
Adopted by Naomi
Now living in Everett, WA
ADOPTED!!!
SNOTWAFFLE
Snotwaffle has allergies. Last week, he had "allergies" all in my mother's face when she leaned down to say hello. That caused a chain reaction. Then she got sick, which made me get sick, then the dogs were trying to eat that, so my husband got sick. The stinking mess aggravated Snotwaffle's allergies again, but this time he sprayed the cat who then tried to eat him. I think it was her perfume, so he should be ok now.
Adopted by Molly
Now residing in Courtney, Vancouver Island, British Columbia
Snotwaffle has allergies. Last week, he had "allergies" all in my mother's face when she leaned down to say hello. That caused a chain reaction. Then she got sick, which made me get sick, then the dogs were trying to eat that, so my husband got sick. The stinking mess aggravated Snotwaffle's allergies again, but this time he sprayed the cat who then tried to eat him. I think it was her perfume, so he should be ok now.
Adopted by Molly
Now residing in Courtney, Vancouver Island, British Columbia
ADOPTED!!!
THRUX
Thrux was a participant in the original Boston Tea Party. He had so much fun that he spent the next 200 years boarding ships and throwing cargo into the sea. He's been the cause of at least three dozen ecological disasters! He's now working with the UN on pollution cleanup efforts. We're proud of his change of heart.
Adopted by Layla
Now residing in the Azores
I'm a bit worried that Thrux is in the middle of the ocean again, but have complete faith that Layla will keep him on track!
Thanks Layla!
Thrux was a participant in the original Boston Tea Party. He had so much fun that he spent the next 200 years boarding ships and throwing cargo into the sea. He's been the cause of at least three dozen ecological disasters! He's now working with the UN on pollution cleanup efforts. We're proud of his change of heart.
Adopted by Layla
Now residing in the Azores
I'm a bit worried that Thrux is in the middle of the ocean again, but have complete faith that Layla will keep him on track!
Thanks Layla!
ADOPTED!!!
BALZAK
Balzak is a failed politician. It's too bad because he actually CAN balance our budget, reduce our deficit, and bring the parties together. He never even made it out of his college's student government association. School administrators refused to let him continue his campaign after his first rally, which had his followers screaming "We Want Balzak!" (say it out loud, and you'll understand why.) He has refused to change his name though. So, that means more recession, and no Balzak for the people. It's a real shame.
Adopted by Allie
Now residing in Columbus, OH
(I should've known this little politician would end up in OHIO!)
Balzak is a failed politician. It's too bad because he actually CAN balance our budget, reduce our deficit, and bring the parties together. He never even made it out of his college's student government association. School administrators refused to let him continue his campaign after his first rally, which had his followers screaming "We Want Balzak!" (say it out loud, and you'll understand why.) He has refused to change his name though. So, that means more recession, and no Balzak for the people. It's a real shame.
Adopted by Allie
Now residing in Columbus, OH
(I should've known this little politician would end up in OHIO!)
ADOPTED!!!
ARISTOTLE THUNDERNUTS!
I am prohibited from publishing how this little alien got his name. But I can tell you that he does have them, and that you can't see them because they're "cloaked." I can also tell you that he's not the first of his name. There, now I've said too much!
Adopted by Nola
Now living in Lacey, WA
I am prohibited from publishing how this little alien got his name. But I can tell you that he does have them, and that you can't see them because they're "cloaked." I can also tell you that he's not the first of his name. There, now I've said too much!
Adopted by Nola
Now living in Lacey, WA
ADOPTED!!!
DR. BRIKENSHLOOP & CHAUNCY
He may be a doctor, but DO NOT trust this alien! (Remember Dr. Frankenstein?)
Granted, he's not trying to bring back the dead, but he did perform a gender reassignment surgery on my cat when I went on vacation (without my permission!) S/he now spends all day "cleaning" herself, and we've had to rename him to something more feminine. A friend suggested, "Chaz."
As for Chauncy, he's not evil, but he still didn't even try help the cat.
So they both have to go!
Adopted by Janet
Now residing in Portland, OR
He may be a doctor, but DO NOT trust this alien! (Remember Dr. Frankenstein?)
Granted, he's not trying to bring back the dead, but he did perform a gender reassignment surgery on my cat when I went on vacation (without my permission!) S/he now spends all day "cleaning" herself, and we've had to rename him to something more feminine. A friend suggested, "Chaz."
As for Chauncy, he's not evil, but he still didn't even try help the cat.
So they both have to go!
Adopted by Janet
Now residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
HUGO See the tiny pupil? That's fear. This alien is petrified. Note the rigid legs sticking straight down, the downward angle of the eye. This creature has the look of a trapped animal - desperate, crazed! Now, here's the sad part.
Do you know what he's looking at that has him so freaked out? A cotton ball. I kid you not. We were in the bathroom and I grabbed a cotton ball to remove some nail polish. He then proceeded to "have an accident" on the counter top. I used the cotton ball to clean up the mess. Aliens.....
Adopted by Eliza
Hugo is now living in Everett, WA
Do you know what he's looking at that has him so freaked out? A cotton ball. I kid you not. We were in the bathroom and I grabbed a cotton ball to remove some nail polish. He then proceeded to "have an accident" on the counter top. I used the cotton ball to clean up the mess. Aliens.....
Adopted by Eliza
Hugo is now living in Everett, WA
ADOPTED!!!
PATRICK & WILHELMINA
As her name indicates, Wilhelmina (German, meaning protector) is a dedicated sister who takes great care of her brother Patrick, who sadly lost his alien head-nubs when he was mistaken for a colorful lemon cookie by a local toddler. Hence, his blank yet freaked-out stare. Because of this horrible tragedy, we cannot adopt to a home with small children.
Adopted by Elaine
Now residing in Oklahoma City, OK
As her name indicates, Wilhelmina (German, meaning protector) is a dedicated sister who takes great care of her brother Patrick, who sadly lost his alien head-nubs when he was mistaken for a colorful lemon cookie by a local toddler. Hence, his blank yet freaked-out stare. Because of this horrible tragedy, we cannot adopt to a home with small children.
Adopted by Elaine
Now residing in Oklahoma City, OK
ADOPTED!!!
DOOSH
Don't even think about trying to make a joke about his name, because you're probably just mispronouncing it. Doosh is a really great alien, whose friends describe as having a personality that's "refreshing."
He's currently rooming with Bug.
Adopted by Natalie
Now living in Olympia, WA
Don't even think about trying to make a joke about his name, because you're probably just mispronouncing it. Doosh is a really great alien, whose friends describe as having a personality that's "refreshing."
He's currently rooming with Bug.
Adopted by Natalie
Now living in Olympia, WA
ADOPTED!!!
CRUSHER (Real Name: Derwood Whimpleton, III)
Crusher IS your typical "mummy didn't love me, so I'm going to rebel and go goth and wreak havoc on her social life" alien. There's just one problem - he sucks at being Goth. He can't dance, wears a yellow polka-dot trench coat (not black), and loves the opera.
He's believed to be the illegitimate love child of Top Gear's The Stig and Posh Spice. (See the Stig resemblance?) Because she won't acknowledge him, he insists on going into pubs screaming "Football players are puffs!"
If you adopt him please note, there is a restraining order against him from David Beckham.
Adopted by Dominic for Claire
Now residing in London, UK
Crusher IS your typical "mummy didn't love me, so I'm going to rebel and go goth and wreak havoc on her social life" alien. There's just one problem - he sucks at being Goth. He can't dance, wears a yellow polka-dot trench coat (not black), and loves the opera.
He's believed to be the illegitimate love child of Top Gear's The Stig and Posh Spice. (See the Stig resemblance?) Because she won't acknowledge him, he insists on going into pubs screaming "Football players are puffs!"
If you adopt him please note, there is a restraining order against him from David Beckham.
Adopted by Dominic for Claire
Now residing in London, UK
ADOPTED!!!
LEINAD
Leinad hates cats, as evidenced by this excerpt we found in his diary.
Dear Diary,
Today was a great day. Sneaked downstairs in the wee hours...ate cat's food...returned to human's sleeping area...breathed in humans' faces...chuckled as they yelled at family cat. Tomorrow will attempt to sabotage litter box
Adopted by Noelle
And now living on Bainbridge Island in Washington
Leinad hates cats, as evidenced by this excerpt we found in his diary.
Dear Diary,
Today was a great day. Sneaked downstairs in the wee hours...ate cat's food...returned to human's sleeping area...breathed in humans' faces...chuckled as they yelled at family cat. Tomorrow will attempt to sabotage litter box
Adopted by Noelle
And now living on Bainbridge Island in Washington
ADOPTED!!!
KREEPI
He's not named Kreepi because of his zombie-like face. He's called Kreepi because he's always putting his head up to walls and doors, like a little spy. That's why one side of his face and head are flattened.
Anyway, he listens and reports back to us. He still gets confused about what types of info are useful though. He recently eavesdropped on a prominent stockbroker meeting. But his report lacked any useful information. It just read - "they had scones."
Maybe his new adoptive family will have better luck.
Adopted by Rebecca
Now residing in San Jose, CA
He's not named Kreepi because of his zombie-like face. He's called Kreepi because he's always putting his head up to walls and doors, like a little spy. That's why one side of his face and head are flattened.
Anyway, he listens and reports back to us. He still gets confused about what types of info are useful though. He recently eavesdropped on a prominent stockbroker meeting. But his report lacked any useful information. It just read - "they had scones."
Maybe his new adoptive family will have better luck.
Adopted by Rebecca
Now residing in San Jose, CA
ADOPTED!!!
BARTLEBY & SPHINX
Meet Bartleby and Sphinx, the Cosmos Kids. These two seem to always find trouble. They're in need of a hiding place on Earth right now because they thought it would be funny to scare their Aunt Thelma by putting sckrinkeez in her trofle - TWICE! Well, you can just imagine what happened next! So, here they are, in hiding. Who's who you ask? Easy, Sphinx is the one without a nose! He lost it on that comet ride a few years ago. You saw it. You don't remember, but you saw it.
Adopted by Laurie
Living in Poulsbo, WA
Meet Bartleby and Sphinx, the Cosmos Kids. These two seem to always find trouble. They're in need of a hiding place on Earth right now because they thought it would be funny to scare their Aunt Thelma by putting sckrinkeez in her trofle - TWICE! Well, you can just imagine what happened next! So, here they are, in hiding. Who's who you ask? Easy, Sphinx is the one without a nose! He lost it on that comet ride a few years ago. You saw it. You don't remember, but you saw it.
Adopted by Laurie
Living in Poulsbo, WA
ADOPTED!!!
LEO & SHRUB
These little guys love flying their saucer, but sometimes get a bit lost. They were found in the basement of a public library in Kansas asking for directions to Roswell, NM. It was later determined that these little guys were in fact orphans and were heading to Roswell because they'd just heard there was a saucer parts sale there.
Leo is happy to take on your family name, but Shrub is a bit attached to his moniker. Consider yourself warned.
No saucer is included in adoption - they wrecked it.
Adopted by Lisa
Living in Oakland, CA
These little guys love flying their saucer, but sometimes get a bit lost. They were found in the basement of a public library in Kansas asking for directions to Roswell, NM. It was later determined that these little guys were in fact orphans and were heading to Roswell because they'd just heard there was a saucer parts sale there.
Leo is happy to take on your family name, but Shrub is a bit attached to his moniker. Consider yourself warned.
No saucer is included in adoption - they wrecked it.
Adopted by Lisa
Living in Oakland, CA
ADOPTED!!!
Y-Mi-? Pronounced "Why Me?"
This little alien is in a serious depression. Now, some would assume it's because he's stuck here on Earth, but that's not the reason he has that tortured face. It seems that relationship drama happens to aliens too. here's what happened....He incorrectly answered the question "Does this make me look fat?" So, his boyfriend slipped him a Roofie, and while he was out, dyed his mustache orange. It's broken his heart. He even changed his name because of this. e used to be named Carlos. (oh, you didn't think that was his mouth did you?)
Adopted by Lisa
Now residing in Oakland, CA
This little alien is in a serious depression. Now, some would assume it's because he's stuck here on Earth, but that's not the reason he has that tortured face. It seems that relationship drama happens to aliens too. here's what happened....He incorrectly answered the question "Does this make me look fat?" So, his boyfriend slipped him a Roofie, and while he was out, dyed his mustache orange. It's broken his heart. He even changed his name because of this. e used to be named Carlos. (oh, you didn't think that was his mouth did you?)
Adopted by Lisa
Now residing in Oakland, CA
ADOPTED!!!
PEPPER & TRIXY
These two aliens have very unique names because of their very unique talents.
Pepper is an ice-skater, and she's so spicy when she skates, that the ice sometimes melts and she has to finish her routine by swimming in the melted ice!
Trixy is a gymnast. She created the "Vigintian Flip." This is a single jump with 20 flips in it! No human has been able to master this, but she's working with a few well-known coaches and athletes for the next Olympic Games!
Adopted by Sage & Reed
Now residing in Pullman, WA
These two aliens have very unique names because of their very unique talents.
Pepper is an ice-skater, and she's so spicy when she skates, that the ice sometimes melts and she has to finish her routine by swimming in the melted ice!
Trixy is a gymnast. She created the "Vigintian Flip." This is a single jump with 20 flips in it! No human has been able to master this, but she's working with a few well-known coaches and athletes for the next Olympic Games!
Adopted by Sage & Reed
Now residing in Pullman, WA
ADOPTED!!!
GILBERT
I like Gilbert for a lot of reasons. I like his smile, and his little vanilla-bean freckles. But what I really like is Gilbert's taste in music. Gilbert likes Jane's Addiction, The Cure, The Pixies, NIN, The Cult, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Run DMC, and the entire soundtrack from Xanadu!
My husband disagreed with Gilbert's musical taste, so we sent him to the garage to do "man-things" and we stayed upstairs and jammed for an entire day.
Adopted by Randy
Now living in Hansville, WA
I like Gilbert for a lot of reasons. I like his smile, and his little vanilla-bean freckles. But what I really like is Gilbert's taste in music. Gilbert likes Jane's Addiction, The Cure, The Pixies, NIN, The Cult, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Run DMC, and the entire soundtrack from Xanadu!
My husband disagreed with Gilbert's musical taste, so we sent him to the garage to do "man-things" and we stayed upstairs and jammed for an entire day.
Adopted by Randy
Now living in Hansville, WA
ANNABELLE
This is Annabelle. Although she is an itsy-bitsy alien, she eats - A LOT! Her favorite food is crayons! Just one look at that face and it's easy to see which color is her favorite! So if you adopt her, you have trouble coloring in sunshine on your drawings. Sorry.
Adopted by Emily
Now living in Silverdale, WA
This is Annabelle. Although she is an itsy-bitsy alien, she eats - A LOT! Her favorite food is crayons! Just one look at that face and it's easy to see which color is her favorite! So if you adopt her, you have trouble coloring in sunshine on your drawings. Sorry.
Adopted by Emily
Now living in Silverdale, WA
ADOPTED!!!
HE-BITES!
Don't let the sweet face fool you. He-Bites really does bite! We didn't have a choice on his name. We can't get close enough to really get to know him. We expect that he will be happiest guarding a locker or diary.
Band-Aids will be included in his adoption tin.
Adopted by Anya
Now residing in Seattle, WA
Don't let the sweet face fool you. He-Bites really does bite! We didn't have a choice on his name. We can't get close enough to really get to know him. We expect that he will be happiest guarding a locker or diary.
Band-Aids will be included in his adoption tin.
Adopted by Anya
Now residing in Seattle, WA
ADOPTED!!!
TULIP
Tulip is aptly named because she loves to eat tulip bulbs. For this reason she's also great at garden pest control. We once saw it take 2 squirrels and a rabbit to pull her off of a gopher. To be honest, we were a bit frightened.
Adopted by Mikki
Residing in Seattle, WA
Tulip is aptly named because she loves to eat tulip bulbs. For this reason she's also great at garden pest control. We once saw it take 2 squirrels and a rabbit to pull her off of a gopher. To be honest, we were a bit frightened.
Adopted by Mikki
Residing in Seattle, WA
ADOPTED!!!
MR. CRAMMIT
I know, it a horrible name for such a great alien.
Interesting Fact: Mr. Crammit is the real genius behind burritos.
That's right, he invented burritos!
It was Mr. Crammit who discovered how one could fit an entire meal into a tortilla by just forcing all of the ingredients inside; beans, rice, cheese, meats, everything. Then he was suddenly ostracized from the community. (We think it was over an argument to name the new food invention.) He relocated to Toledo. That's where we found him and offered to find him a new home.
He has one requirement of an adopting family. They MUST call burritos -
Cram Cakes!
Adopted by Nayra Grace
Now living in Salt Lake City, UT
I know, it a horrible name for such a great alien.
Interesting Fact: Mr. Crammit is the real genius behind burritos.
That's right, he invented burritos!
It was Mr. Crammit who discovered how one could fit an entire meal into a tortilla by just forcing all of the ingredients inside; beans, rice, cheese, meats, everything. Then he was suddenly ostracized from the community. (We think it was over an argument to name the new food invention.) He relocated to Toledo. That's where we found him and offered to find him a new home.
He has one requirement of an adopting family. They MUST call burritos -
Cram Cakes!
Adopted by Nayra Grace
Now living in Salt Lake City, UT
ADOPTED!!!
PUDDINHEAD JONES
I know what you're thinking. That can't be what I think it is! An alien with one leg shorter than the other. I know, it seems impossible. But Puddinhead, or PJ as he's known by his friends, doesn't let that long leg stop him. He just sticks it out, and hitchhikes his way across the galaxy. Jones (the one on top)....he's a bit of a moocher.
Adopted by Sydnee
Now residing in Eugene, OR
I know what you're thinking. That can't be what I think it is! An alien with one leg shorter than the other. I know, it seems impossible. But Puddinhead, or PJ as he's known by his friends, doesn't let that long leg stop him. He just sticks it out, and hitchhikes his way across the galaxy. Jones (the one on top)....he's a bit of a moocher.
Adopted by Sydnee
Now residing in Eugene, OR
ADOPTED!!!
TOM
This is Tom.
Adopted by Lynn
Now residing in Indianola, WA
This is Tom.
Adopted by Lynn
Now residing in Indianola, WA
ADOPTED!!!
MOO This is Moo. She is the current World Champion Cow Tipper! Some folks say she cheats since she doesn't have any arms. We don't know how she does it, but we can tell you that she's banned from competition in four states: Texas, Montana, Nebraska, and Rhode Island.
Adopted by Kendra
Now residing in Seattle, WA
Adopted by Kendra
Now residing in Seattle, WA
ADOPTED!!!
YUMIKO
Meet Yumiko. She is a mermaid-alien. This means that she loves water, and not just to drink. Her little legs are super-strong and she's the fastest swimmer we've ever seen. And because she's an alien - she doesn't even need to hold her breath, so she can stay underwater as long as she wants. She can even talk to dolphins.
Adopted by Lauren
Now living in Greenville, NC
Meet Yumiko. She is a mermaid-alien. This means that she loves water, and not just to drink. Her little legs are super-strong and she's the fastest swimmer we've ever seen. And because she's an alien - she doesn't even need to hold her breath, so she can stay underwater as long as she wants. She can even talk to dolphins.
Adopted by Lauren
Now living in Greenville, NC
ADOPTED!!!
TOODLES
You're going to need a strong necklace for this one. Toodles has a tendency to wander off. The last time he "went for a walk" it took us 2 days to find him. He was in our kitchen drawer spooning a fork.
Adopted by Kyra
Now living in Seattle, WA
You're going to need a strong necklace for this one. Toodles has a tendency to wander off. The last time he "went for a walk" it took us 2 days to find him. He was in our kitchen drawer spooning a fork.
Adopted by Kyra
Now living in Seattle, WA
ADOPTED!!!
BWA-HA-HA
Bwa-ha-ha is named for her evil little laugh. Right now, she's fond of doling out this maniacal cackle after going #2 in public restrooms. That laugh, plus the poorly-timed phrase "is that my kung-pao chicken?!" got us kicked out of P.F. Changs last week.
Adopted by Natalie
Now living in Bellevue, NE
Bwa-ha-ha is named for her evil little laugh. Right now, she's fond of doling out this maniacal cackle after going #2 in public restrooms. That laugh, plus the poorly-timed phrase "is that my kung-pao chicken?!" got us kicked out of P.F. Changs last week.
Adopted by Natalie
Now living in Bellevue, NE
ADOPTED!!!
SIMON
Meet Simon. He's one of our new arrivals. He's also not used to gravity yet and keeps trying to fly. Yesterday he smeared his body in Krazy Glue and attached himself to our ceiling fan. When we found him, he was dangling upside down, and getting tortured by the cat who seemed to be enjoying his "new interactive, screaming toy."
So, now we cannot adopt him to a home with ceiling fans or cats. Sorry.
Adopted at Camp Cactus!
Now residing in Portland, OR
Meet Simon. He's one of our new arrivals. He's also not used to gravity yet and keeps trying to fly. Yesterday he smeared his body in Krazy Glue and attached himself to our ceiling fan. When we found him, he was dangling upside down, and getting tortured by the cat who seemed to be enjoying his "new interactive, screaming toy."
So, now we cannot adopt him to a home with ceiling fans or cats. Sorry.
Adopted at Camp Cactus!
Now residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
TICKLE-TOOTS
This itsy-bitsy alien packs a wallop! He's just so cute and happy, but DON'T tickle him! It makes him poot. We did find that if you tickle him a lot, the outcome is a bit musical and sounds like the song Old MacDonald Had A Farm.
E-I-E-I-Oh!
Adopted at Camp Cactus!
Now residing in Portland, OR
This itsy-bitsy alien packs a wallop! He's just so cute and happy, but DON'T tickle him! It makes him poot. We did find that if you tickle him a lot, the outcome is a bit musical and sounds like the song Old MacDonald Had A Farm.
E-I-E-I-Oh!
Adopted at Camp Cactus!
Now residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
OLIVIER & OLIVER
These two brothers were born and bred in the theater district of Boston, MA. Olivier is classically trained, but has a secret obsession with musical theater (he LOVED Jersey Boys.) He's currently ghost writing a new play about Kim Kardashain called, "Girl, You Need A Daddy!"
Oliver prefers to work backstage. He's recently converted to mysticism and is a practicing Wiccan. He's been seen "blessing" the sets in hopes that they "won't collapse under Olivier's Huge Ass!" (his words, not ours.)
Adopted by Sharon
Currently living in Eugene, OR
These two brothers were born and bred in the theater district of Boston, MA. Olivier is classically trained, but has a secret obsession with musical theater (he LOVED Jersey Boys.) He's currently ghost writing a new play about Kim Kardashain called, "Girl, You Need A Daddy!"
Oliver prefers to work backstage. He's recently converted to mysticism and is a practicing Wiccan. He's been seen "blessing" the sets in hopes that they "won't collapse under Olivier's Huge Ass!" (his words, not ours.)
Adopted by Sharon
Currently living in Eugene, OR
ADOPTED!!!
BUG (as in "What Bug crawled up your....")
Bug is a retired alien probe (yeah, you know the kind). He's hoping to be adopted to a home that's open, dry, and has spanning vistas....maybe Santa Fe? He's been tested, is free of bacteria and parasites, and is ready for his forever home.
( I'm not even going to make a joke about how he's attached to a chain. That would be tasteless.)
Adopted by Miles,
Currently residing in Portland, OR
Bug is a retired alien probe (yeah, you know the kind). He's hoping to be adopted to a home that's open, dry, and has spanning vistas....maybe Santa Fe? He's been tested, is free of bacteria and parasites, and is ready for his forever home.
( I'm not even going to make a joke about how he's attached to a chain. That would be tasteless.)
Adopted by Miles,
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
MILLIE
Millie is a very unique alien. You see, when aliens are born, their legs and feet help determine the type of alien they will be. In Millie's case, she is a dual-function alien. Her left leg supports her Soccer hobby, while her right rainbow-leg show that she's really an artist! She can kick a soccer ball over 80 yards and is so crafty, that Martha Stewart seeks advice from HER!
Adopted by Eka,
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Millie is a very unique alien. You see, when aliens are born, their legs and feet help determine the type of alien they will be. In Millie's case, she is a dual-function alien. Her left leg supports her Soccer hobby, while her right rainbow-leg show that she's really an artist! She can kick a soccer ball over 80 yards and is so crafty, that Martha Stewart seeks advice from HER!
Adopted by Eka,
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
GERALD & JEROLD
These two friends couldn't be any more different. Gerald plays the tuba; Jerold the piccolo. Gerald likes steak; Jerold is vegan. You get the idea. They do agree have one common love though - smearing themselves in non-fat yogurt and streaking through Portland's Saturday market screaming "Who's Your Daddy?" Don't tell me you haven't seen them do this yet....It's a riot!
Adopted by Barbara,
Currently residing in Portland, OR
These two friends couldn't be any more different. Gerald plays the tuba; Jerold the piccolo. Gerald likes steak; Jerold is vegan. You get the idea. They do agree have one common love though - smearing themselves in non-fat yogurt and streaking through Portland's Saturday market screaming "Who's Your Daddy?" Don't tell me you haven't seen them do this yet....It's a riot!
Adopted by Barbara,
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
BUMP
It's an interesting story; how Bump got his name. He arrived here in 1974 at the height of Disco and immediately took to the dance for which he is named. However, tragedy struck in 1976 when an over-zealous heavy-chick (his words, not mine) bumped him so hard, his internal navigation chip failed. He's been trapped on Earth ever since. The 80's were especially hard for him; he hated Spandau Ballet.
Adopted by Cortney
Now residing in Ashland, OR
It's an interesting story; how Bump got his name. He arrived here in 1974 at the height of Disco and immediately took to the dance for which he is named. However, tragedy struck in 1976 when an over-zealous heavy-chick (his words, not mine) bumped him so hard, his internal navigation chip failed. He's been trapped on Earth ever since. The 80's were especially hard for him; he hated Spandau Ballet.
Adopted by Cortney
Now residing in Ashland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
PACINO & TUBBS
These two love all things Miami (Miami Vice, Miami Subs, Miami movies like Scarface and Bad Boys) - you get the picture. Anyway, as you can see from the photo, Pacino (he's red) is a tiny bit taller than Tubbs. With this new information, Pacino has begun to go around screaming "Say hello to my little friend! " and then pointing to Tubbs.
They're currently taking Rogaine, trying to grow chest hair. (It's not really Rogaine, we just gave them a bottle with peppermint lotion.) If nothing else, they'll smell great!
Adopted at Angst Gallery, Vancouver, WA
These two love all things Miami (Miami Vice, Miami Subs, Miami movies like Scarface and Bad Boys) - you get the picture. Anyway, as you can see from the photo, Pacino (he's red) is a tiny bit taller than Tubbs. With this new information, Pacino has begun to go around screaming "Say hello to my little friend! " and then pointing to Tubbs.
They're currently taking Rogaine, trying to grow chest hair. (It's not really Rogaine, we just gave them a bottle with peppermint lotion.) If nothing else, they'll smell great!
Adopted at Angst Gallery, Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
JANELLE
Janelle is still a bit puffy. She's just getting over the Tromblix Mumps. However, even under the weather this little lady is sure to bring happiness and fun into your home. She bakes bacon cookies that are so good, they could flip a vegetarian.
(Please note: Tromblix Mumps are not contagious to humans)
Adopted by Eka
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Janelle is still a bit puffy. She's just getting over the Tromblix Mumps. However, even under the weather this little lady is sure to bring happiness and fun into your home. She bakes bacon cookies that are so good, they could flip a vegetarian.
(Please note: Tromblix Mumps are not contagious to humans)
Adopted by Eka
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
POOKIE & SQUISH
These two love the Pacific Northwest because they like it when it rains! They also love jumping in puddles and make great Thunder-Buddies!
Adopted from Angst Gallery, Vancouver, WA
These two love the Pacific Northwest because they like it when it rains! They also love jumping in puddles and make great Thunder-Buddies!
Adopted from Angst Gallery, Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!!
TAD & DASA
Our other twins (again, not identical), these two are playful and have been known to whisper poetry into the ears of their wearer. But don't get too excited. Their poetic library consists of mostly Roses are Red poems.
Adopted by a kind patron who prefers to remain anonymous,
but currently residing in Portland, OR
Our other twins (again, not identical), these two are playful and have been known to whisper poetry into the ears of their wearer. But don't get too excited. Their poetic library consists of mostly Roses are Red poems.
Adopted by a kind patron who prefers to remain anonymous,
but currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
OL' MUSTACHE PERSIMMON
Ok, so here's the story about Ol' Mustache's name. Aliens are great at building spaceships and visiting other planets, but they have trouble with translations to English. This little guy is a bit sinister (he bites) and believes that the spelled name above is correct for his chosen name - "All Must Ask Permission!" Say it out loud, and you can see how he may have gotten confused. Either way, he needs a home.
Adopted by P. Armstrong
Currently residing in Portland, OR
Ok, so here's the story about Ol' Mustache's name. Aliens are great at building spaceships and visiting other planets, but they have trouble with translations to English. This little guy is a bit sinister (he bites) and believes that the spelled name above is correct for his chosen name - "All Must Ask Permission!" Say it out loud, and you can see how he may have gotten confused. Either way, he needs a home.
Adopted by P. Armstrong
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
FIGGY (REAL NAME, FIGARO)
Meet Figaro. This colorful guy would look great around your neck, and may even help to combat mosquitoes in the summer. (Rumor has it, they find him repulsive and stay far from him).
Adopted by Stephanie
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Meet Figaro. This colorful guy would look great around your neck, and may even help to combat mosquitoes in the summer. (Rumor has it, they find him repulsive and stay far from him).
Adopted by Stephanie
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
TREVOR
Trevor is here on Earth for what he call his "second go-round." According to Trevor, he's done it all, had a great time, and has decided to come back to do it again. We don't know what he's talking about. But we can tell you that he's been pretty precise in picking Oscar winners. He won't tell you lottery numbers though. We tried that one. He refused, saying something about not being able to upset the balance. Whatever.
Adopted by P. Armstrong
Currently residing in Portland, OR
Trevor is here on Earth for what he call his "second go-round." According to Trevor, he's done it all, had a great time, and has decided to come back to do it again. We don't know what he's talking about. But we can tell you that he's been pretty precise in picking Oscar winners. He won't tell you lottery numbers though. We tried that one. He refused, saying something about not being able to upset the balance. Whatever.
Adopted by P. Armstrong
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
BUZZ
Buzz is aptly names because of this favorite drink - Choffy! It's the only thing on Earth that he will eat or drink. What? haven't heard of Choffy? Imagine a warm, bitter drink that give you energy....not brewed from coffee beans, but cacao beans! He's a freak, but we love him.
Please note - you cannot adopt him unless you have Choffy at home.
Here's where you get it.
www.drinkchoffy.com/kathiandseth
Adopted by Kathi
Currently residing in Camas, WA
Buzz is aptly names because of this favorite drink - Choffy! It's the only thing on Earth that he will eat or drink. What? haven't heard of Choffy? Imagine a warm, bitter drink that give you energy....not brewed from coffee beans, but cacao beans! He's a freak, but we love him.
Please note - you cannot adopt him unless you have Choffy at home.
Here's where you get it.
www.drinkchoffy.com/kathiandseth
Adopted by Kathi
Currently residing in Camas, WA
ADOPTED!!!
TEMPLETON & BLOO
These are our activist aliens. Always willing to support a good cause. Templeton raises money for the local Humane Society, collects toys for kids at Christmastime, delivers meals to the elderly, and runs marathons to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis. Bloo has a somewhat different approach - his last endeavor found him jumping into the lobster tank at a famous seafood chain to save the lobsters. When police arrived he was screaming "I have alien herpes! Tainted Lobster! Tainted Lobster!"
Adopted by Marsha
Current;y residing in Happy Valley, OR
These are our activist aliens. Always willing to support a good cause. Templeton raises money for the local Humane Society, collects toys for kids at Christmastime, delivers meals to the elderly, and runs marathons to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis. Bloo has a somewhat different approach - his last endeavor found him jumping into the lobster tank at a famous seafood chain to save the lobsters. When police arrived he was screaming "I have alien herpes! Tainted Lobster! Tainted Lobster!"
Adopted by Marsha
Current;y residing in Happy Valley, OR
Adopted!!!
BEAN
This is Bean. She was born here on Earth in Lima, Peru. I know, bad joke...Bean, born in Lima. Lima Bean. Ha ha, real funny. I suggest that you not make fun of her. She's a 9th degree plaid belt in Karajudokwondoraymi. Never heard of it? Just goes to show how naive you really are.
Look, she's a nice girl. Give her a home. She'll protect it.
Adopted by Kathi
Now residing in Camas, WA
This is Bean. She was born here on Earth in Lima, Peru. I know, bad joke...Bean, born in Lima. Lima Bean. Ha ha, real funny. I suggest that you not make fun of her. She's a 9th degree plaid belt in Karajudokwondoraymi. Never heard of it? Just goes to show how naive you really are.
Look, she's a nice girl. Give her a home. She'll protect it.
Adopted by Kathi
Now residing in Camas, WA
ADOPTED!!!
JINGLE
Jingle knows the words to every commercial jingle ever written. All of them. He doesn't really care for the insurance commercial jingles, but loves the "Seven Kinds of Fruit in Hawaiian Punch" song.
Adopted by Kathi
Currently residing in Camas, WA
Jingle knows the words to every commercial jingle ever written. All of them. He doesn't really care for the insurance commercial jingles, but loves the "Seven Kinds of Fruit in Hawaiian Punch" song.
Adopted by Kathi
Currently residing in Camas, WA
ADOPTED!!!
WORBLGLUNK & SPIRO
These two are the 4-time champions of the Xeeple Intergalactic Team Spelling Bee. Last year, they won by correctly spelling the word Ugfahtlalavbm, which means "orange" in Dod language.
Adopted by Zoe
Now residing in Santa Monica, CA
These two are the 4-time champions of the Xeeple Intergalactic Team Spelling Bee. Last year, they won by correctly spelling the word Ugfahtlalavbm, which means "orange" in Dod language.
Adopted by Zoe
Now residing in Santa Monica, CA
ADOPTED!!!
WIGGLE & GIGGLE
There are no two aliens that have more fun than Wiggle & Giggle. They're bright, happy, and can cheer up anyone just by being the cute aliens they are. If you work at the DMV, then these are the little ones for you - you need it. Seriously, you know you do.
Adopted by Sydney
Now residing in Portland, OR
There are no two aliens that have more fun than Wiggle & Giggle. They're bright, happy, and can cheer up anyone just by being the cute aliens they are. If you work at the DMV, then these are the little ones for you - you need it. Seriously, you know you do.
Adopted by Sydney
Now residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
PINBALL - (this is a special-needs alien)
We rescued this little guy from a biker-bar in Fort Worth. He'd wandered in a few years back asking for directions, and they put him in the pinball machine, as the pinball. He has a permanent bruise from it, and is subject to night terrors where he wakes up screaming the lyrics to Sweet Home Alabama.
We will not adopt him to anyone with a motorcycle, or Skynard Fans.
Adopted by Lela
Now residing in Portland, OR
We rescued this little guy from a biker-bar in Fort Worth. He'd wandered in a few years back asking for directions, and they put him in the pinball machine, as the pinball. He has a permanent bruise from it, and is subject to night terrors where he wakes up screaming the lyrics to Sweet Home Alabama.
We will not adopt him to anyone with a motorcycle, or Skynard Fans.
Adopted by Lela
Now residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
CARROT
Carrot loves Bugs Bunny. He loves carrots (hence his chosen name). He insists on watching the cartoons, mistaking them for historical documents. One last thing - he's petrified of Albuquerque. He's convinced it's some sort of black hole for travelers. Therefore we cannot adopt him to anyone from Albuquerque.
Adopted at Camp Cactus
Carrot loves Bugs Bunny. He loves carrots (hence his chosen name). He insists on watching the cartoons, mistaking them for historical documents. One last thing - he's petrified of Albuquerque. He's convinced it's some sort of black hole for travelers. Therefore we cannot adopt him to anyone from Albuquerque.
Adopted at Camp Cactus
ADOPTED!!!
YOYO
Yoyo isn't named after the toy. He's named this because of poor manners. Whenever he meets anyone, he says "yo!" We've tried to teach him better manners, but failed. Maybe you will have better luck.
Adopted at Camp Cactus
Yoyo isn't named after the toy. He's named this because of poor manners. Whenever he meets anyone, he says "yo!" We've tried to teach him better manners, but failed. Maybe you will have better luck.
Adopted at Camp Cactus
ADOPTED!!!
HICCUP
Meet Hiccup. We named him this because he hiccups constantly. We just can;t figure out how he does it since he has no mouth!
Adopted by Ellie
Currently residing in Portland, OR
Meet Hiccup. We named him this because he hiccups constantly. We just can;t figure out how he does it since he has no mouth!
Adopted by Ellie
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
BUFORD & PABLO
These two brothers couldn't be more different. Pablo is a quirky alien of the arts who enjoys creating beautiful abstract paintings which can be found in many galleries in Spain. Whereas Buford is most often found in the studio with Pablo...sniffing glue.
Sorry, but these two will not be adopted separately. If you want Pablo, you're going to have to take Buford too.
Adopted by Sydney
Currently residing in Milwaukee, OR
These two brothers couldn't be more different. Pablo is a quirky alien of the arts who enjoys creating beautiful abstract paintings which can be found in many galleries in Spain. Whereas Buford is most often found in the studio with Pablo...sniffing glue.
Sorry, but these two will not be adopted separately. If you want Pablo, you're going to have to take Buford too.
Adopted by Sydney
Currently residing in Milwaukee, OR
ADOPTED!!!
HONEY & RUFUS
Honey and Rufus have just arrived from a tour of the Deep South. They're still trying to acclimate to the Pacific Northwest. Honey wants biscuits with every meal and Rufus has been arguing with restaurant waitstaff because they won't bring him "sweet" tea.
Adopted by Zoe
Currently living in Portland, OR
Honey and Rufus have just arrived from a tour of the Deep South. They're still trying to acclimate to the Pacific Northwest. Honey wants biscuits with every meal and Rufus has been arguing with restaurant waitstaff because they won't bring him "sweet" tea.
Adopted by Zoe
Currently living in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
MAMBO & KITTY
Mambo & Kitty have been making their way around the circuit for the past year. "What circuit" you ask? Why the Irish River Dancing & Swiss Yodeling blended circuit of course. I hear they're a big hit in Iceland.
Adopted by an nameless patron of the arts
Currently traveling in the Pacific Northwest
Mambo & Kitty have been making their way around the circuit for the past year. "What circuit" you ask? Why the Irish River Dancing & Swiss Yodeling blended circuit of course. I hear they're a big hit in Iceland.
Adopted by an nameless patron of the arts
Currently traveling in the Pacific Northwest
ADOPTED!!!
SON-OF-A-$!#@&
I know its offensive, but that's what I named the little (blank). He keeps hiking his leg on EVERYTHING! It's driving me nuts! Look - he's even got it up in this photo!
I can't house train him. I'm going crazy. It's affecting the other aliens in the house. Good luck to you if you adopt him.
Many thanks to Wayne & Shonna for adopting Son-of-a-$!#@&
He is currently residing in Carson, WA
Hopefully they are having better luck with him than I had.
I know its offensive, but that's what I named the little (blank). He keeps hiking his leg on EVERYTHING! It's driving me nuts! Look - he's even got it up in this photo!
I can't house train him. I'm going crazy. It's affecting the other aliens in the house. Good luck to you if you adopt him.
Many thanks to Wayne & Shonna for adopting Son-of-a-$!#@&
He is currently residing in Carson, WA
Hopefully they are having better luck with him than I had.
ADOPTED!!!!
BEBO & TOBY
Once upon a time there were two little aliens named Bebo & Toby. They were best friends. They lived on a planet with high cliffs that overlooked deep black holes. One day, Bebo decided to jump off of a cliff. Toby followed. The black hole brought them to Earth. I guess they really are best friends.
Adopted by Merri
Currently residing in Stevenson, WA
Once upon a time there were two little aliens named Bebo & Toby. They were best friends. They lived on a planet with high cliffs that overlooked deep black holes. One day, Bebo decided to jump off of a cliff. Toby followed. The black hole brought them to Earth. I guess they really are best friends.
Adopted by Merri
Currently residing in Stevenson, WA
Adopted!!!!
WHEE!
This is one roller-coasting alien. She's been traveling the galaxy attempting to conquer all coasters. (Yes, they have roller coasters on other planets - you didn't know?) Anyway, while she's here on Earth, she's seeking a coaster-buddy.
Adopted by Daisy
Currently residing in North Bonneville, WA
This is one roller-coasting alien. She's been traveling the galaxy attempting to conquer all coasters. (Yes, they have roller coasters on other planets - you didn't know?) Anyway, while she's here on Earth, she's seeking a coaster-buddy.
Adopted by Daisy
Currently residing in North Bonneville, WA
ADOPTED!!!
BAMBI
One look into those big, dark, doe eyes, and people will ask you - "how could you not adopt that sweet little alien?" We think Bambi is a real looker, and we're glad she has looks, because she is dirt-stupid. No seriously, she's really really stupid. This is the alien that watches the History Channel and asks if we think the color videos of the Revolutionary War are "actual footage." We told her, yes.
So if you want a nice, yet simple alien, Bambi is your girl.
Adopted by Julie
Currently Residing in Beaverton, OR
One look into those big, dark, doe eyes, and people will ask you - "how could you not adopt that sweet little alien?" We think Bambi is a real looker, and we're glad she has looks, because she is dirt-stupid. No seriously, she's really really stupid. This is the alien that watches the History Channel and asks if we think the color videos of the Revolutionary War are "actual footage." We told her, yes.
So if you want a nice, yet simple alien, Bambi is your girl.
Adopted by Julie
Currently Residing in Beaverton, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
CARMELLA
What a DIVA! Carmella "only wears socks made from humanely sheared Alpacas from Guatemalan monastaries, and the fur must be the color of "dulce-du-leche." This is what she told us when she arrived at our home. Whatever Carmella. You don't even have FEET!
Sorry, I mean....Carmella is a sweet wonderful girl who would make a wonderful addition to your family. Won't you please adopt her.....today!
Adopted by Julie
Currently residing in Beaverton, OR
What a DIVA! Carmella "only wears socks made from humanely sheared Alpacas from Guatemalan monastaries, and the fur must be the color of "dulce-du-leche." This is what she told us when she arrived at our home. Whatever Carmella. You don't even have FEET!
Sorry, I mean....Carmella is a sweet wonderful girl who would make a wonderful addition to your family. Won't you please adopt her.....today!
Adopted by Julie
Currently residing in Beaverton, OR
ADOPTED!!!
2T (PRONOUNCED TOOTY)
We've been trying to get a good photo of 2T, with no luck. I blame this on my husband. 2T arrived at our home some time ago, looking for sanctuary. He's supposedly a real "man's man" on his world.
Sadly, when he told us his name, my husband began laughing and explained how his name sounded the same as a roller-skating teenage girl from an 80's sitcom (you know the one). Well, 2T locked himself in our office, accessed the Internet and watched every episode. He's a changed alien. He now hates his name, and my browser history shows that he's been on dating sites "looking for a soul-mate who goes by the name of Mrs. Garrett."
Adopted by Julie
Currently residing in Beaverton, OR
We've been trying to get a good photo of 2T, with no luck. I blame this on my husband. 2T arrived at our home some time ago, looking for sanctuary. He's supposedly a real "man's man" on his world.
Sadly, when he told us his name, my husband began laughing and explained how his name sounded the same as a roller-skating teenage girl from an 80's sitcom (you know the one). Well, 2T locked himself in our office, accessed the Internet and watched every episode. He's a changed alien. He now hates his name, and my browser history shows that he's been on dating sites "looking for a soul-mate who goes by the name of Mrs. Garrett."
Adopted by Julie
Currently residing in Beaverton, OR
ADOPTED!!!
CARVELL
This here is Carvell. He's just lost his first game of Fronthand-Backhand. Key and Peele know what I'm talking about. Look it up. And please, adopt this poor
"no-game-having" alien
Adopted by Kalena
Currently residing in White Salmon, WA
This here is Carvell. He's just lost his first game of Fronthand-Backhand. Key and Peele know what I'm talking about. Look it up. And please, adopt this poor
"no-game-having" alien
Adopted by Kalena
Currently residing in White Salmon, WA
ADOPTED!!!
ERGO
You've heard the question, "Which came first, The Chicken or the Egg?"
Well, Ergo actually knows the answer. She's just not saying.
Adopted by Marcelle
Currently residing in Rochester, NY
You've heard the question, "Which came first, The Chicken or the Egg?"
Well, Ergo actually knows the answer. She's just not saying.
Adopted by Marcelle
Currently residing in Rochester, NY
ADOPTED!!!
SKIPPER & LA-LA
These two are a bit small for their age (less than 2") but they're the sweetest aliens you could ever hope to meet.
Skipper is named for his blue hues and the fact that he wants to own his own boat one day. He's been suspended indefinitely from flying any spacecraft due to a small misunderstanding with a shrink-ray, a mind control device, and a pelican at the wedding of a prominent senator's daughter's beach wedding. It was kept out of the national media.
And La-la? Well, La-la just likes to sing. She is also tone deaf. We just don't have the heart to tell her.
Adopted by Emma
Currently residing in White Salmon, WA
These two are a bit small for their age (less than 2") but they're the sweetest aliens you could ever hope to meet.
Skipper is named for his blue hues and the fact that he wants to own his own boat one day. He's been suspended indefinitely from flying any spacecraft due to a small misunderstanding with a shrink-ray, a mind control device, and a pelican at the wedding of a prominent senator's daughter's beach wedding. It was kept out of the national media.
And La-la? Well, La-la just likes to sing. She is also tone deaf. We just don't have the heart to tell her.
Adopted by Emma
Currently residing in White Salmon, WA
ADOPTED!!!
CAPTAIN WOW
Greetings Earthlings! I am Captain WOW! I do not need to be "adopted" since I am an adult alien with my full wits and faculties. However, the humans who are currently granting me sanctuary have refused to give me transport to Belgium, where I am to rendezvous with my fellow crew members and await further orders.
For this reason, I am "allowing" myself to be "adopted" by other humans, preferably ones that live in Belgium or are at least located in Europe. Your service will be rewarded.
Adopted by Mattie
Currently residing in Greenwich, CT
Greetings Earthlings! I am Captain WOW! I do not need to be "adopted" since I am an adult alien with my full wits and faculties. However, the humans who are currently granting me sanctuary have refused to give me transport to Belgium, where I am to rendezvous with my fellow crew members and await further orders.
For this reason, I am "allowing" myself to be "adopted" by other humans, preferably ones that live in Belgium or are at least located in Europe. Your service will be rewarded.
Adopted by Mattie
Currently residing in Greenwich, CT
ADOPTED!!!
LUKEY & STEVE
You're going to want these two brothers on your side in any scuffle. Lukey is a master of distractions, such as throwing angry cats onto your head. And Steve will always have your back. His weapon of choice is a claw hammer, and we hear that he HATES Hondas.
Adopted by Zack & Jamie, Big brothers to Mattie
Currently residing in Greenwich, CT
You're going to want these two brothers on your side in any scuffle. Lukey is a master of distractions, such as throwing angry cats onto your head. And Steve will always have your back. His weapon of choice is a claw hammer, and we hear that he HATES Hondas.
Adopted by Zack & Jamie, Big brothers to Mattie
Currently residing in Greenwich, CT
ADOPTED!!!
WINK
This is Wink. She's loves to play with dolls and decorate cupcakes. But she's really scared of the dark. She would like to be adopted by someone who could make her feel safe and has a bright night-light.
Adopted by Stelle
Currently residing in Plymouth, MN
This is Wink. She's loves to play with dolls and decorate cupcakes. But she's really scared of the dark. She would like to be adopted by someone who could make her feel safe and has a bright night-light.
Adopted by Stelle
Currently residing in Plymouth, MN
ADOPTED!!!
DON-DON & SULEY
Don-Don & Suley have just returned from a hiking trip in Patagonia. And boy, are their legs tired! (You did notice that they have noodle-legs, didn't you?) Just give them a few weeks to recuperate and they'll be good as new. If you're a hiker, please adopt these two.
Adopted by Finn & Renie
Currently residing in Hood Rover, OR
Don-Don & Suley have just returned from a hiking trip in Patagonia. And boy, are their legs tired! (You did notice that they have noodle-legs, didn't you?) Just give them a few weeks to recuperate and they'll be good as new. If you're a hiker, please adopt these two.
Adopted by Finn & Renie
Currently residing in Hood Rover, OR
ADOPTED!!!
ROSCO
Rosco has "special" powers. He can turn ANYTHING into lime-jello. I said they were "special powers." What kind of special were you thinking about?
Adopted by Jerica
Currently Residing in Gloucester, VA
Rosco has "special" powers. He can turn ANYTHING into lime-jello. I said they were "special powers." What kind of special were you thinking about?
Adopted by Jerica
Currently Residing in Gloucester, VA
ADOPTED!!!
CALEB
Caleb is afraid of dogs. He's afraid of most animals. This is because his poots smell like bacon. Poor Caleb.
For his safety, we cannot adopt him to anyone with animals. But if you like the smell of bacon, then this is the alien for you!
Adopted by Greta
Currently Residing in Hood River, OR
Caleb is afraid of dogs. He's afraid of most animals. This is because his poots smell like bacon. Poor Caleb.
For his safety, we cannot adopt him to anyone with animals. But if you like the smell of bacon, then this is the alien for you!
Adopted by Greta
Currently Residing in Hood River, OR
ADOPTED!!!
AVI
We should've named him Pavlov since he drools when it's dinner time, or maybe Hoover, for the way he inhales his food. Whatever his name, make no mistake, this guy can eat! If you adopt him, I recommend you enter him in an eating contest, and keep the prize money. Favorite foods include, chocolate chips, mustard, Fruit Roll-ups, grass clippings, cheeseburgers, aluminum foil, and AAA batteries.
Adopted by Greta
Currently residing in Hood River, OR
We should've named him Pavlov since he drools when it's dinner time, or maybe Hoover, for the way he inhales his food. Whatever his name, make no mistake, this guy can eat! If you adopt him, I recommend you enter him in an eating contest, and keep the prize money. Favorite foods include, chocolate chips, mustard, Fruit Roll-ups, grass clippings, cheeseburgers, aluminum foil, and AAA batteries.
Adopted by Greta
Currently residing in Hood River, OR
ADOPTED!!!
WILLOW
Meet Willow. Her favorite color is Pink! She loves pink cotton candy, pink roses and designing clothes for dolls, as long as they're pink. And her favorite drink is....you guessed it, PINK-lemonade.
Adopted by FInley
Currently residing in Hood River, OR
Meet Willow. Her favorite color is Pink! She loves pink cotton candy, pink roses and designing clothes for dolls, as long as they're pink. And her favorite drink is....you guessed it, PINK-lemonade.
Adopted by FInley
Currently residing in Hood River, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
WINDEE
This is the only creature I've ever met that can talk more than me, and that's "saying" something.
Adopted by Leslie
Currently residing in Woodland, WA
This is the only creature I've ever met that can talk more than me, and that's "saying" something.
Adopted by Leslie
Currently residing in Woodland, WA
ADOPTED!!!!
HuPuTd & WZNTME
This little alien has a real sixth sense. Whenever something seemed "off" in the home, we'd ask HuPuTd. The reply was always the same, "Wzntmee." It took some time, but we finally realized he was talking about his little brother, who's often the cause of drama in our home. We tell you this, so that when you adopt them, you will know that if you need any answer to any question, you just simply need to ask HuPuTd.
Adopted by Betty
Currently residing Carson, WA
This little alien has a real sixth sense. Whenever something seemed "off" in the home, we'd ask HuPuTd. The reply was always the same, "Wzntmee." It took some time, but we finally realized he was talking about his little brother, who's often the cause of drama in our home. We tell you this, so that when you adopt them, you will know that if you need any answer to any question, you just simply need to ask HuPuTd.
Adopted by Betty
Currently residing Carson, WA
ADOPTED!!!!
SASHA & NEVIL
These two are not on speaking terms right now. I blame the Twilight movies. Sasha is team Edward (passionately team Edward) while, you guessed it, Nevil is all about team Jacob. I've urged them to just read the books so they can stay friends.
In the meantime, new adoptive parents will have to contend with an alien who swoons (often) and another who swears he can read dogs' minds because he believes he's part of their pack.
Adopted by Rosalyn
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
These two are not on speaking terms right now. I blame the Twilight movies. Sasha is team Edward (passionately team Edward) while, you guessed it, Nevil is all about team Jacob. I've urged them to just read the books so they can stay friends.
In the meantime, new adoptive parents will have to contend with an alien who swoons (often) and another who swears he can read dogs' minds because he believes he's part of their pack.
Adopted by Rosalyn
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!!
DIETR & TROY
These are our resident "old-school rave" aliens. (favorite bands include Underworld, Prodigy, and Lords of Acid) Dietr is sporting light blue and purple head nubs. He enjoys any red carpet event, gets all of his news from E! and can tie a cherry stem into a knot in less than 30 seconds using only his mouth.
Troy has blue and green head nubs, makes pressed flower journals, and hopes to one day get his big break on The Voice from Cristina Aguilera, but says he will accept Cee-Lo if he has to.
Adopted by Diane
Currently residing in North Bonneville, WA
These are our resident "old-school rave" aliens. (favorite bands include Underworld, Prodigy, and Lords of Acid) Dietr is sporting light blue and purple head nubs. He enjoys any red carpet event, gets all of his news from E! and can tie a cherry stem into a knot in less than 30 seconds using only his mouth.
Troy has blue and green head nubs, makes pressed flower journals, and hopes to one day get his big break on The Voice from Cristina Aguilera, but says he will accept Cee-Lo if he has to.
Adopted by Diane
Currently residing in North Bonneville, WA
ADOPTED!!!!
IMOGENE
Imogene has relocated to Earth to study our butterflies. She is shy, quiet, and makes killer zucchini bread. She will be happiest in a home with a large garden.
Adopted by Diane
Currently residing in North Bonneville, WA
Imogene has relocated to Earth to study our butterflies. She is shy, quiet, and makes killer zucchini bread. She will be happiest in a home with a large garden.
Adopted by Diane
Currently residing in North Bonneville, WA
ADOPTED!!!!
AMY & YAM
These two are a real pair of dancing queens. Tap, jazz, ballet, you name it - but they prefer disco dancing above all else. And with their long legs, they're both pretty good too.
If ordering from out of state, your home will need to have Internet and Skype access, as these two girls are both in heavy relationships with the same disco ball at a club in nearby Portland, OR.
Adopted by Rebecca
Currently residing in Portland, OR (Lucky girls, they won't have to break-up with that disco ball after all. Thank you Rebecca)
These two are a real pair of dancing queens. Tap, jazz, ballet, you name it - but they prefer disco dancing above all else. And with their long legs, they're both pretty good too.
If ordering from out of state, your home will need to have Internet and Skype access, as these two girls are both in heavy relationships with the same disco ball at a club in nearby Portland, OR.
Adopted by Rebecca
Currently residing in Portland, OR (Lucky girls, they won't have to break-up with that disco ball after all. Thank you Rebecca)
ADOPTED!!!!
ISLEY (THE IMP)
It took a LONG time to catch this one. We only wanted to help him find a home, but now we're convinced he's really a little demon. I don't think he's malicious or does hurtful things on purpose - but he's wreaked havoc in his current home (mine). In addition to "accidentally" hiding my toothbrush in the freezer, he also found a way to bleach the hair of my dogs. One now has leopard spots, and the other has the word "sissy" permanently bleached on her back. We don't know if this was an attempt to name his sister, or if he was insulting her character.
Adopted by Gillian
Currently residing in Portland, OR
It took a LONG time to catch this one. We only wanted to help him find a home, but now we're convinced he's really a little demon. I don't think he's malicious or does hurtful things on purpose - but he's wreaked havoc in his current home (mine). In addition to "accidentally" hiding my toothbrush in the freezer, he also found a way to bleach the hair of my dogs. One now has leopard spots, and the other has the word "sissy" permanently bleached on her back. We don't know if this was an attempt to name his sister, or if he was insulting her character.
Adopted by Gillian
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
CLIFF
Meet Cliff, your average alien. Average size....Average Eyes....Average Head nubs...But that's where the "average" ends. Among his selected accomplishments, this little wonder has a doctorate in molecular biology, the fastest (yet undocumented) lap time in the "reasonably priced car" on Top Gear, began shaving at the age of 3 weeks, speaks 19 different languages (16 are not of this planet, so he may be making up that story, we don't know), knows all of the words to all of the songs from Mary Poppins, and knits. Yes, he knits!
Adopted by Julie
Currently residing in Beaverton, OR
Meet Cliff, your average alien. Average size....Average Eyes....Average Head nubs...But that's where the "average" ends. Among his selected accomplishments, this little wonder has a doctorate in molecular biology, the fastest (yet undocumented) lap time in the "reasonably priced car" on Top Gear, began shaving at the age of 3 weeks, speaks 19 different languages (16 are not of this planet, so he may be making up that story, we don't know), knows all of the words to all of the songs from Mary Poppins, and knits. Yes, he knits!
Adopted by Julie
Currently residing in Beaverton, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
KRINKLSPITZER
You're going to want this little guy in your home. He knows Judo, can fly, and with his third eye he's sure to make a great security-alien. He also loves pickles, Disney movies, and wishes he had eyelashes so that he could wear mascara.
Adopted by Maria
Currently residing in Portland, OR
You're going to want this little guy in your home. He knows Judo, can fly, and with his third eye he's sure to make a great security-alien. He also loves pickles, Disney movies, and wishes he had eyelashes so that he could wear mascara.
Adopted by Maria
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!
PLINKA
Plinka is a really sweet alien with a penchant for Kevin Spacey movies. She seems to especially like the ones where his character is rude....Swimming with Sharks, Horrible Bosses, etc. So she may also have a thing for bad boys. We snapped this photo while she was watching Mr. Spacey in his role as Lex Luthor in Superman Returns. She's convinced that he's "dreamy" and an alien, given his last name.
Adopted by Minon
Currently residing in Portland, OR
Plinka is a really sweet alien with a penchant for Kevin Spacey movies. She seems to especially like the ones where his character is rude....Swimming with Sharks, Horrible Bosses, etc. So she may also have a thing for bad boys. We snapped this photo while she was watching Mr. Spacey in his role as Lex Luthor in Superman Returns. She's convinced that he's "dreamy" and an alien, given his last name.
Adopted by Minon
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
ARGYLE
Meet Argyle. He may be named like a Scot, but this little guy is a ninja. No really, he's an alien ninja. He's been on Earth for centuries. C'mon, where did you think the ninjas learned all of those cool moves? Aliens my friend, Aliens. Throwing Stars and Nun-Chuks are NOT included.
Adopted by Gail
Currently residing in Reno, NV
Meet Argyle. He may be named like a Scot, but this little guy is a ninja. No really, he's an alien ninja. He's been on Earth for centuries. C'mon, where did you think the ninjas learned all of those cool moves? Aliens my friend, Aliens. Throwing Stars and Nun-Chuks are NOT included.
Adopted by Gail
Currently residing in Reno, NV
ADOPTED!!!!
LITTLE MISS MAIZY
This bright and colorful alien is a creature of habit. Each Sunday morning, she likes to sit in the sun, drink hot tea and play Sudoku. I'm not sure that she really understands how to play, because she just draws symbols and flowers and stars in the black squares. But it seems to make her happy.
Adopted by Katie
Currently residing in Portland, OR
This bright and colorful alien is a creature of habit. Each Sunday morning, she likes to sit in the sun, drink hot tea and play Sudoku. I'm not sure that she really understands how to play, because she just draws symbols and flowers and stars in the black squares. But it seems to make her happy.
Adopted by Katie
Currently residing in Portland, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
WALLY
Wally has a sweet tooth. His mouth is permanently red because of his love for any kind of cake that has red frosting. In order to save your profits, we will not adopt him out to anyone owning a bakery. Adopted by Aaliyah Currently residing in Washougal, WA (pictured on the right) |
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ADOPTED!!!!
GORGEOUS GEORGE
You didn't read this wrong. This is just ONE alien - Gorgeous George (he named himself). Let's just say that George may be a bit narcissistic. So much so, that he found a way to clone his imaginary friend "Super Hot George." I cannot tell the difference between the two, and if you adopt "him" I suggest that you don't mention it either.
But don't let this dissuade you from the adoption. George is a lot of fun. he loves to dance and is unparalleled in his ability to give great fashion advice.
Adopted by Angel
Currently residing in Las Cruses, NM
You didn't read this wrong. This is just ONE alien - Gorgeous George (he named himself). Let's just say that George may be a bit narcissistic. So much so, that he found a way to clone his imaginary friend "Super Hot George." I cannot tell the difference between the two, and if you adopt "him" I suggest that you don't mention it either.
But don't let this dissuade you from the adoption. George is a lot of fun. he loves to dance and is unparalleled in his ability to give great fashion advice.
Adopted by Angel
Currently residing in Las Cruses, NM
ADOPTED!!!!
BOO
Boo is named for his expression of horror or surprise - you decide. He did not always look this way. But remember when your mother said, "if you don't stop making that face it will freeze like that?" Well, let's just say that his mother had a freeze ray, and has not decided whether he's learned his lesson or not. So for now, he's stuck this way.
Adopted by Sofia
Currently residing in Beach, ND
Boo is named for his expression of horror or surprise - you decide. He did not always look this way. But remember when your mother said, "if you don't stop making that face it will freeze like that?" Well, let's just say that his mother had a freeze ray, and has not decided whether he's learned his lesson or not. So for now, he's stuck this way.
Adopted by Sofia
Currently residing in Beach, ND
ADOPTED ITSY BITSYS!!!!
DERT & SOKS
This brother and sister duo love to play sports. However, Dert can get a little out of control on the field or on the court. But his sister Soks knows just how to keep him in line. So remember, "Never be afraid of a little Dert, and Always wear your Soks." With these two on your team and in your ears, you can't lose.
Adopted by Peggy
Currently residing in Battle Ground, WA
This brother and sister duo love to play sports. However, Dert can get a little out of control on the field or on the court. But his sister Soks knows just how to keep him in line. So remember, "Never be afraid of a little Dert, and Always wear your Soks." With these two on your team and in your ears, you can't lose.
Adopted by Peggy
Currently residing in Battle Ground, WA
ADOPTED ITSY BITSYS!!!!
LULLABY & WHIFF
These two were named for their wonderful work with babies. Lullaby knows the words to over 1000 songs and can calm the most fussy baby. While Whiff....well, let's just say that Whiff can smell a dirty diaper almost before it happens. These two will be happiest with a babysitter or Octo-mom.
Adopted by Peggy
Currentl residing in Battle Ground, WA
These two were named for their wonderful work with babies. Lullaby knows the words to over 1000 songs and can calm the most fussy baby. While Whiff....well, let's just say that Whiff can smell a dirty diaper almost before it happens. These two will be happiest with a babysitter or Octo-mom.
Adopted by Peggy
Currentl residing in Battle Ground, WA
ADOPTED!!!
Adopted by Vera,
Currently residing in St. Helens, OR |
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ADOPTED!!!!
MR. NANCY
Originally a 7-legged spider, Mr. Nancy didn't fare so well in the battle between the old world gods and the new. He's a playboy, not a soldier.
Likes: Karaoke
Adopted by Robin
Currently residing in Clackamas, OR
Originally a 7-legged spider, Mr. Nancy didn't fare so well in the battle between the old world gods and the new. He's a playboy, not a soldier.
Likes: Karaoke
Adopted by Robin
Currently residing in Clackamas, OR
ADOPTED!!!!
Adopted by Heather.
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
Adopted by Ann
Currently residing in Chapel Hill, NC
Currently residing in Chapel Hill, NC
ADOPTED!!!
Adopted by Brianna
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
ADOPTED!!!
Adopted by Tiffany
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA and serving as studio alien.
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA and serving as studio alien.
ADOPTED!!!
Adopted by Mrs. Mason
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA
Currently residing in Vancouver, WA