Like most families, I have a crazy uncle - always talking about alien abductions and stuff like that at family dinners. Last Easter, he got really bad hiccups from some dry ham. When my cousin ran after him with a chainsaw (don't ask), my uncle turned to run, hit a wall, passed some really loud gas and screamed, "You scared the Bejeezus out of me!" How was I supposed to know there was actually an aliens in there? I think my uncle may have been holding him hostage. Anyway, he needs a good home. The alien needs a good home too.